Louis Vuitton’s boite of tricks

Did Health and Safety officers really sign off the vertiginous marble, brass, mirror and light-boxed staircase that links the three floors of Louis Vuitton’s newest, most lavish and high tech shop? For it’s a precarious assault course for any biped without a head for heights. With 23 square meters of banded light-box, steel and stone panels I wasn’t sure if I was on a flat surface or needing to take a step up or down. A Perspex escalator would have felt like solid ground.

A deliberate disorientation by the store’s leather-capped, architect Peter Marino? Shoppers will feel so relieved on reaching their destination they’ll be more than happy to lay down £999 on a monogrammed ‘Keepall’ weekend bag if they arrive in one piece. This kind of purchase needs to fly off these shelves many times an hour to make this lavishly bedecked store pay. No doubt they will. Then the customer will then have something soft, squidgy and expensive to land on if they take a tumble back on the vertiginous stairs.

This is a titan of a store, the Vuitton’s most luxurious. ‘Maison’, excuse me. It is made from Aniegre wood, Corian, French embossed leather, Afromosia wood, French Lacquer, Portland stone, glass and engineered high-gloss wood veneer. Custom-made is the starting point for rugs, shot silk and leather chairs and sofas and drunken hand beaten metal tables stand tipsily on the menswear floor. There are also ceiling-suspended rotating planets made from glass and plastic, and in the sunglass area has a ‘central oculous’ like a big brother all-seeing eye, but way more chic. It is in fact a light feature resembling the human iris a useful reminder of what sunglasses are meant to protect.

I know Louis Vuitton’s schtick is travel, but with this store they manage to take you off the planet entirely to a universe far, far away. It’s a mighty achievement for the luxury French leather good manufacturer who first opened a shop in London 125 years ago. And in keeping with the 11%, global economy-defying profits LVMH posted over the past year.

Of course all this conspicuous, open-to-anyone access of these first three floors might feel a little too democratic, or even dangerous to some of the ‘maison’s’ most discreet, famous or fearful customers. These special customers will be whisked to the ‘Apartment’ – an open plan space on the 2^nd floor that is sectioned off into private shopping suites, each decked with fireplaces, antique and vintage furniture. Access is via a private lift.

The LV ‘Maison’ is a sort of art gallery too. ‘Kiki’ a sculpture by Japanese artist Takashi Murakami who has worked closely with the brand producing a candy-bright monogram, greets shoppers on the ground floor. Works by Richard Prince are also featured throughout the store. Downstairs look out for ‘Paws’, a work by Gilbert and George in the menswear department.

Unfortunately, the most fun piece of art on display, Michael Landy’s Credit Card Destroying Machine, will moved to a new home shortly. It was placed at the bottom of the stairs for the opening launch party. This brilliantly-named art work – a Heath Robinson-esque machine of stuck on grotesquerie - fright masks, doll faces and severed limbs, bells and whistles also scribbles abstractions onto pieces of A4 paper. Of course, it has to be moved. As all the credit card destroying – or, indeed, melting - will now be managed in-house by Louis Vuitton itself.